On Which Road To Take


Life is a series of moments where you will be standing at a point, deciding on which road to take. 

As the proverb goes, we’re lead to believe that the road less travelled, is more adventurous and less crowded. And of course we want more adventure in life, more thrill, so we tell ourselves, ‘Hey, it’s going to be difficult but it will be worth it. I’m going to learn so much and I’m going to gain so much’. 
Alright. That’s fair enough. We never grow if we don’t give ourselves a chance to explore, take on an untraveled path, make mistakes and gain experience in the process. 

But must be always give ourselves grief in order to grow? Must we always choose the more difficult option to explore? Should experiences be shaped by bitter memories for them to be considered worth it? 

Give yourself a time out. You’re a human and throughout this lifetime, you’ll get options – the easy one and the hard one. 

And I’ve never been the one to say that shirking from hard work is the easier option, but sometimes it’s okay to take shortcuts or the road that every one else seems to be taking. Sometimes the more difficult road can lead you to nowhere but a dead end. 

And until now, I thought unless I slog off at work for more or less the same pay that I uses to make at my previous job that seemed easier in terms of travel, convenience and the effort required, I won’t be able to grow and I won’t be able to go places. 

So I took up the challenge. I travelled quite a few miles to go to the new job, was okay about ungodly working hours and put in all my efforts towards something I realised wasn’t my area of interest in the first place. 

Was the previous job not worth it because it came naturally and felt easy? Of course not but I only just realised that I actually liked it. 

We learn from mistakes and here is my lesson, ‘Don’t always insist on taking the hard road because sometimes we create a more difficult road just in order to punish ourselves for crimes we didn’t commit in the first place’.

LOVING AND LOSING: A PERSPECTIVE

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When a person leaves your life, willingly or unwillingly, what would the normal human reaction be?

 

Sadness? Anger? Resentment? Betrayal?

 

All of the above. All of them at once or maybe one by one, in phases.

 

Life is a series of change. We are all moving, changing and others are too.

 

Sometimes people come in your life, to not be a definite part of your future but to make you happy, teach you important life lessons and point out things which you hadn’t really focused on before.

 

Yeah you might miss them, and pine for them and long for them but once their part in your life is over, they aren’t going to return, even if you pray on the falling stars, drop a million coins in wishing wells or make a wish on 11.11 days after days and nights after nights.

 

Your paths crossed for a little while, destinies aligned for a few days, months, years, but that’s all. Not every relationship is meant to last or transform into something beautiful.

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You’ll learn this the hard way. You’ll learn it when the person leaves and there’s not much you can do but wait and wish and long for their return.

 

The waiting will teach you that patience and time will surely and slowly heal the cracks, the tears will cleanse your soul and teach you that it’s okay to fall apart for things or people you cherish and wishing will teach you the difference between hoping and expecting and maybe help you form a tighter bond with your creator.

 

So give yourself time. Lots of time. It may take a few months or a couple of years but it’s going to be okay.

 

Move on because you’re still breathing and your heart still beats with a purpose to fulfill. Start living your life and cherishing people still around you.

 

Don’t forget to be grateful for people who chose to enter and leave your life. Deep inside you know you wouldn’t have traded those moments for anything else.

Was it easy? 

 
 Was it easy? 

Luring me in and then walking away? Like none of it mattered? Like I didn’t matter? Like the times we shared just faded into dust? I’ve never felt so broken and unlovable. 

Was it easy? 

Promising me the stars and then leaving me on a barren land to admire their beauty from afar, all alone, lonely and cold? I will never be able to love those stars again. 

Was it easy? 

Not fighting for me, putting the blame on my shoulders and then seeking solace in another’s arms soon after? The pain that shot through my chest is indescribable. 

Was it easy? 

Destroying my worth and ruining my sanity, sucking me off all my love, leaving me on the stone cold floor to lie in a heap of bones and tears? I will never be the same again. 

DEAR SELF IN 2016

  

A Note to Self, From Self:

It’s 2016 in just another day and I’m writing this to remind you of everything you wanted to do in 2016.

Read this and gather motivation.

Fresh year. Fresh start.

You crave it, you love fresh beginnings. You’ve been eagerly waiting for it since the past few weeks.

Don’t be stuck in the past. Make peace with it. Let bygones be bygones. You made a mistake, or many mistakes.

Forgive yourself, you’re only human. Forget the situation. It’s time to move on.

People who want to be in your life will make an effort. It’s their time to show you they care. You’ve made enough efforts.

Don’t daydream about the future. You’re wasting today for a tomorrow that may not be as you had desired. You’ll only disappoint yourself further.

Love today. Give yourself a pat on the back. You’re alive, TODAY. Be grateful for the present.

Don’t be afraid of being lonely. Embrace solitude. 
Silence shouldn’t scare you. If silence makes you seek companionship, talk to God. You’ll feel better. Listen to music, let it soothe you.

Get off social media. Don’t spend countless hours stalking people you know, don’t be curious about strangers. You don’t want to meet another Internet fuck boy, trust me.

Spend time reading and writing and exploring music genres beyond your comfort level.

Cultivate a new hobby. Get Fit. Eat Healthy. Sleep early.

Stop clicking selfies. You don’t validation.

Limit usage of internet. Sit down with a pen and paper and plan your week.

Take yourself out on a date. A coffee shop, fine dining or perhaps, just a movie.

Stop texting, call instead.

Explore. Travel. Be brave. Take risks. Go out on new adventures.

Stop being a people pleaser. Learn to say no without explaining. The ones who understand, won’t demand an explanation.

Save Money. Be kind.

Value the little things. Practice Gratitude. Be thankful for your family. Spend more time with them.

Get a cat. Get a tattoo. Take a long holiday in a foreign destination. You’ve wanted these things since forever. This year, you should.

Don’t be naïve but don’t be afraid to give love a chance. Broken heart will be healed but ‘What ifs’ tend to haunt forever.

Love yourself; don’t be dependent on a man to give you love.

Don’t take people or things for granted. Don’t assume.

Talk it out. Communicate.

Forgive others for being human and making mistakes but don’t make it a habit. Set a limit to how much you can tolerate.

Don’t be impulsive but also don’t plan things down to the T. Let life be unfolded naturally. It will surprise you; maybe you’ll even like the surprise.

Don’t be a gossip. You have better things to do.

Don’t be judgmental, it’s not your job. You’re not God.

Remember the good times from 2015 but don’t dwell on the times you broke down and cried.

Forgive people who hurt you and regret nothing.

Last but not the least, smile often and choose to be happy!

BIGGER PICTURE GETS TURNED DOWN FOR WHAT?

I’ve come across so many beautiful quotes that talk about how to get over painful experiences and move on.

 
My personal favorites (or so I thought) are:

 

 

 

Somehow, I pondered long and hard and wondered if I was finding solace in the fact that these quotes made me a victim. They were telling me to be okay about being selfish and letting go, about moving on, victimizing my situation. Was I a victim really, or was I a catalyst in the bad experience that eventually broke me down and made me seek comfort from these quotes?
The answer was surprising. I was as much as a catalyst as I was a victim in my situation where I had to eventually learn to let someone go.

 

 

 
There are only so many times you can push someone away, fight with them and then try to get back together. One day they will realize that maybe they deserve better and that day they will just pack up and leave. No explanation, no justification.

 

 

 
Life gives us more chances than we deserve but we are all living in era where we are preached about how it’s okay to feed our self interest and do what’s best for us. We’ve taken these terms for granted, at the same time ignoring the bigger picture.

 

 

 
The bigger picture being, whenever something goes wrong or a relationship fails, we have a finger to point at ourselves.
We screwed up, or let things continue, or took things for granted.

 

 

 
So now you’re going through a bad experience, searching the internet for some comfort food to feel your restless mind and sad heart, the comfort food that’s doing nothing but victimizing your situation and helping you ignore the bigger picture, once again!

A Journey From Destiny To Gratitude 

  

Because, sometimes it’s all about destiny. Some people in your life are forever people, the soul mates, the ones who will stand with you through thick and thin, listening to you whine and rant for insane amount of hours, hugging you when your world is falling apart, comforting you with words, making a midnight icecream run because there’s just no other way to soothe your hysteria.

They’ll pick up the pieces of your soul shattered by others who chose to leave, the temporary ones who in a way will come in your life through destiny too. 

Just that their purpose in your life is a little different, they’re perhaps only in your life so you can learn all about you. 

They’ll take you to the happiest ever been and then make you experience your lowest low. But theses temporary ones are important too. They teach you about all that you lack, all that you’re okay with tolerating, all that defines your limits, all that makes you, you all that doesn’t make you, you. 

So I guess, in the end, you’ve got to be grateful for both the lots for if you didn’t have it bad, you wouldn’t be thankful for the good. 

Fading Sunset Thoughts

 

 If fate is kind enough, maybe we will meet again, one fine day, unexpectedly, wondering if it’s really us or is it just a dirty mind trick accompanied by deceiving eyes. 

Maybe our minds won’t be so unforgiving then, our hearts not so heavy. Maybe we’ll be glad to have met or maybe we’ll regret and curse fate once again. 

Maybe we’ll talk like long lost friends or maybe we’ll just ignore each other like scorned lovers. 

Maybe you’ll be mine or maybe I’ll be yours or maybe we’ll slip by each other once again. 

Fate O’ Fate, what do you have in store for us?